I know it sounds bonkers, but I knew my origins back when I was in trouble. Though I’m looking forward, and not backwards I must write a strange past experience.
I was on drugs, and hardly ever slept. Insomnia had its cold hard grip on my sanity as it latched to my soul like a snake would a spinal cord of a rodent. I dissected my thoughts, looking for the Lord in all of the wrong places. A demand to rebel against a contemplative sinister and corrupt system with little credibility I had remaining after a series of distorted charges, determined to find the truth among liars and thieves. A truth of being a gatekeeper for the now thrashing violence of what today they’ve become. I shall not look back or testify who they are today, it’s no one’s business anyway.
As I crept into an apartment never before visited, a man’s girlfriend runs amis with another man. Mike was left for the other Mike who often spoke with his hands, with riddles, and with codes undefined to this day. The wrong crowd is the crime of myself and the other Mike, as we gazed from the third story of his wooden deck. A couple days back we had been arrested, “The gate keeper’s are out, let us bring them all in.”
“Gatekeeper,” I thought.
To what exactly, as Mike and I were absolutely lost? To this day I don’t contain knowledge of his whereabouts. What I saw was a series of hallucinations that I still can’t grasp. They call it in the middle plane of existence. I call it a mysterious subconscious and conscious moment of the unthinkable. Not even a movie could or would revisit this bazaar moment of clarity. Or maybe it’s still open for debate of my sanity raveling and unraveling in a moments notice back then.
My here and now is found by the lizard as he loves me to enjoy gifts of clear foresight. Purity as he’s albino and red eyed and I feel excited to see lizard as I gain shapeshifting abilities to expose light where it is needed. The need to blend in and live in peace is immanent.
So, as we gaze down the apartment balcony he asks, “what’s the meaning of it all?”
I respond, “God.”
We sat in silence and I saw amazing wings drifting out of the spines of tall men walking below. White and pure.
I find myself to his couch- a stranger who had let me stay to continually remain safe and untouched. The dreams that followed were of an alien with black eyes, crimson glitter below, and a white spaceship as the space we were together inside of. He passed with his mind a beautiful three – dimensional prism that contained the planet and universe in that small triangular being. He taught me to manipulate it around the white room with only thinking of it. It was amazing and insightful.
I woke the next day on the couch I had drifted off to sleep to. Mike had fallen asleep in the one bedroom nearby. A knock on the door jolted us both awake. It was a man who helped himself inside.
“Long time no see, my girlfriend and I just moved across the street. It’s strange here, as the exits are where one use to enter. Very interesting.”
I was rubbing my eyes wondering if this was real. I had just woken up moments before.
He found a seat next to me, and grabbed his iPod. He started to show me pictures of a woman who looked much like me, throughout time. It had been a long time since I’ve truly been home I thought.
The man finally approached the last slide, and he looked at me and said, “oops.” It displayed the photo of the alien I was meditating with the night before! Strange indeed, as Alice goes further into the rabbit hole. Well, no one will ever believe me anyway I thought.
The man invited us to his apartment, like old friends getting reacquainted. We followed him into the basement apartment across the way. He had technology I haven’t seen to this day. I’m still curious about it as it contained inside of it content I still probably wouldn’t understand, but try I would!
He pointed at the screen, and said, “it’s like this… The blue one spins and spins, the yellow one spins until a time, and the green one is your planet.”
Rubbing my eyes, I was so confused. What is this? Why must I be the green set to repeat over and over? Why can’t I be like the blue one and spin around? Why not the white one I thought? Instead I’m a green circle repeating over and over. I told him to get lost and called him a derogatory name due to my lack of understanding. I didn’t know what message he was conveying nor did I think it appropriate to allow someone in my mind that much.
Mike and I left. Curious as we were sent to keep gates to who knows – what.
The time is nearing though as clarity sinks in as does the inability to be affected by outside negativity. Purity. Love. Direction.
Yet I still pray, this is all truth and my account to something that happened to reveal partial truths of the inner power I have. One seal among twelve. I have yet to know what the seal contains, but a faith that will only continue to grow. Angels some call it. Whether Human or Angel remains to be seen as we create our destiny and fine tune it.
My love for purity remains, the need for guidance is a daily ritual. The interpretation is lost, but the knowledge that I’m pure by a lizard shows me only I hold the keys to doors I will come to one day when I’m ready.
When my grandmother left she told me something before she crossed.
“When the rain falls, it washes across the sky. The flowers bloom and the birds start to sing. You, child will know the rest when it’s time.”
Predictions or manifestation are becoming easier. Now if I can multiply my bank account or my family’s then I can own the place in the mountains in my dreams. Though I haven’t found it yet, I know I’m meant to be there. One baby step at a time as I make way for the future.
Though the past isn’t forgotten, today is what I have. Though I’m not promised a tomorrow, we all learn. We are all secret agents sent by God to do His work. If you are lost, ask and you’ll always receive. Though time is relative I would record you’ve been here more than once to get it right. We decide when to come down, and we decide where to go from there.
Peace and love all. My future is not written in the majority of this but an interpretation of life in the past. Though God is in my future, confusion is the past as my power animal changed. Serpents can be pure if white. If green look out. This serpent told me my past is gone. I woke up feeling healed, and praise God. Don’t be fooled about my words, as dreams can fool or inform. For me, I woke up to more power and purpose but we all are different and our choices have a massive affect if we acknowledge them or not.
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